Writing on the Side

Irony?

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 06:06:59 GMT

I think it's so funny that the last two times I've posted to work out my current writer's block/ angst, I've received a query rejection the next day. It's a sign!

Still buried in essays over here, but I discovered today that there is an actual end to the pile, and I can see it. While I may not finish my goal of getting 28 more essays out by Thursday, at least I will have chipped a huge dent.

And I haven't been completely honest with all of you, I realized after my last post, so I now must confess:

Part of the reason why I haven't been writing is because I've been reading Watchmen. For the first time. Yes, I know. Bad geek, bad!

But it's sooooo good. Even now, it calls to me....

It's Been a While

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 07:53:31 GMT

Hey there, Internets!

It's been a while since I posted last (clearly) and I was a little shocked to see that the last public post I made was my angsty writer post. Therefore, that must be amended, though I don't have much of interest to say at the moment.

Big changes in the world, but everything is much the same here. I am buried in big piles of essays that need grading and late critiques for the Second Breakfasts, so I'm not online much. I haven't written anything in over a month. Nothing. Not a drop, not a whisper, not a sigh of inspiration. I did purchase a book entitled Write: 10 Days to Overcoming Writer's Block. Clearly I haven't read it yet, even though I bought it.. oh, about 30 days ago. Go me!

Truthfully, I don't know why I bought it. I knew what was in it even before I left the store. Same stuff I already know: write every day, set a specific time and place, blah blah blah. I think I bought it so it would look at me every day and mock me for not writing. However, I buried it under recently developed photographs, so I showed THAT book! Ha!

I know what's wrong with me. I can make all sorts of excuses. Realistically, it's not the piles of papers, or the PTA obligations, or the ridiculously hard National History Day project my 6th grader is being forced to endure (and I, unfortunately, along with her) that stops me from writing. I have written more in less time with more obligations. Here, as I listen to "The End of All Things" from the ROTK soundtrack (which is oddly fitting) I must admit that I have not yet recovered from the rapid fire query-and-reject of my second novel. The doubts have set in, and as supportive as all of my friends are, the little "you suck, so don't bother" voice is playing Wormtongue in my ear.

Still, though I may be losing the battle for my little writer's soul, I think I'm winning the war. Some characters I haven't lived with for a long time are visiting my thoughts, and even though the next Big Novel Idea hasn't smacked me upside the head yet, I may play with those other, older friends for a while and see what happens.

As soon as I finish grading these 75 essays....

Retraction!

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 00:49:49 GMT

Thanks to everyone who responded (online and off) to my post last night. Clearly, my writing funk is hitting me harder than I thought it would. I didn't mean to worry all of you! In part just articulating those feelings helped me work through this problem, and the rest of your e-hugs and encouragement (and verbal spankings) finished the job.

In the sunny light of day, I don't actually think I could quit writing. At least, not for long. As I already itch to write and feel listless and lazy that I don't have anything to work on, quitting probably wouldn't last long. (And no worries, Chris! I definitely won't deprive you of my Dear Student posts! Have one percolating as I type this!)

I'm going to mull through the advice you've all given me. I'm going to find something to write that makes me happy, makes me laugh, or is just completely stupid and pointless, and I'm going to try to get back in the habit of writing every day (but I'm going to start that... tomorrow! Ha!) even if nothing comes of it. Maybe I'll try fanfic, or NaNoWriMo, just because I can, and not worry about whether or not it sucks.

Or, you could all dare me. That would work too! ;)

Anyway, thanks all of you! Things look a little better. Sometimes it's nice to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way, and that it does get better.

Throwing in the Towel

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 06:20:57 GMT

So I've gotten official rejections on both the partial and the full of the YA, as well as a growing number of rejections of the query. I'm just waiting for the rest of the rejections to come in now so I can shove this under the bed and forget about it.

This is my second novel. I'm looking at two for two with unwanted writing. Clearly, it's time for me to face the fact that I'm not good enough, nor will I possibly ever be good enough, to publish. I've done the writing groups for years, both in-person and online, I've been to writer's conferences, met agents, gotten the kind of rejections that are the best you can get: "love the writing, I just don't love the story enough to add it to my list." I'm just not sure I want to do this anymore.

Will I still write? Maybe. Will I still try to get published? I don't know.

I've made many wonderful friends in the writing community, gotten the opportunity to go to VP, and had a short story published. These have all been valuable life and learning experiences for me, and have enriched my life in too many ways to describe. Maybe that's all I was ever meant to learn or gain from writing. Maybe that's enough.

Marketing Madness/ Writing Update

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 00:03:24 GMT

For those of you playing at home, I sent out 18 queries for the YA in September. Results thus far:

Full request: 1
Partial request: 1
Rejections: 7
No response: 9

My first book still has two fulls out: one requested a year ago from a non-responding agent, and one recent submission. I need to sub that out to two more editors I have in mind before I trunk it for a little while. I had enough response for it that I'm hesitant to give up on it altogether, but now just might not be its time.

In other news, I cleaned my room thoroughly yesterday, did all my filing, and pulled out the 25,000 words I've completed on Book Two as well as all the feedback I had accumulated on it before I dropped it to work on the YA. My intention is to start writing 20 minutes (or 500 words) a day as soon as I can get caught up with the big pile of grading that haunts me and wrap up the PTA membership drive (yes, I'm a PTA mom. 2nd VP, to be exact. Shut up.).

Ah, the overwhelm.

Decompression

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 15:31:36 GMT

There is a huge misconception that weekends are for relaxing. At least, around here. I'm exhausted from my weekend, which included a soccer game, an Angels game, a softball game (which I "played" for the first time since 4th grade P.E., and yes it WAS a humiliating experience), a birthday brunch, church, grading papers, helping my fourth grader put together her book report project, and a whole lot of house de-toxing in between.

Thank God it's Monday-- kids are at school and all I have to do today is see my therapist, grade a metric ton of papers, and take my daughter to soccer practice. The rest of the day will fill up of course, with homework and dinner and whatnot. Still, it's nice to sit for just a few minutes with my computer and my cat and just be.

An Observation

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 16:33:57 GMT

Despite how wonderfully I've learned to handle rejection over the years, it always sucks to wake up and find not one, but two rejection emails in my inbox.

Revision Complete!

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 15:33:57 GMT

I probably should have posted this sooner for better record-keeping, but I completed the final revision of my YA last weekend while on a writer's retreat with my writing group. It was a LONG weekend, but well worth the effort! I'm finally happy with the finished product.

I also sent out a respectable 17 queries last weekend, and have already received a request for the full and forwarded it to the agent! (Got two rejections, too-- but who's counting those?) So it's been a good week in my personal writing universe.

Now I'm in that listless place again where I don't really know what to work on next. Fortunately, I have about 100 student essays I collected this week to entertain me.

One thing about my life? Never boring.

Why Am I Doing This Again?

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 16:19:21 GMT

ecgriffith is making me do this. Apparently it's "Internet law" to participate-- I'm so looking that up later!

Anyway, I was unfortunate enough to come across this meme pre-shower, so please don't be too afraid.

Me, in all my morning glory:

Here are the instructions:

Take a picture of yourself right now. Don’t change your clothes. Don’t fix your hair. Just take a picture. Post that picture with no editing. Include these instructions.

I'm Still Here!

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 14:23:45 GMT

Life has been hectic, so I haven't had much time to blog, let alone keep up with my f-list, so if something extremely cool has happened to you lately and I missed it, please let me know in the comments! :)

Basically, it's week four of the semester, and essays start coming in today. I have managed to complete the first major revision of the YA and query the agent I met at WorldCon; we'll see if she wants to read further.

Otherwise, that's pretty much it. On the horizon:

- final read-through and polish of the YA
- more queries
- finish the Eternal Short Story
- finish Book Two

Book One is still on hold; I'm not sure what to do with that yet if the person currently reading it passes, though I have some ideas.

Revision Update (Part 3? 4?)

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 03:14:23 GMT

For those of you playing at home, I have finished typing in all of my changes (and I've made a few more, of course; I just can't help myself). I'm seriously tired of this book right now, but I think it's a much stronger draft overall.

While the ending is significantly rewritten, there are still holes to fill, and I need to amp up the action a little bit. I have a few other little things to research (yuck! research!) and another overall polish to do, but I think I've now got a solid second draft.

Ending Rewritten!

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 00:08:38 GMT

I have generated lots, and lots and LOTS of new words today, but I don't feel like counting them because they're all mixed in all over the place, spliced in with the old ending. Suffice it to say, I've been writing for over four hours today, and I think I've got a good handle on the ending. Here's hoping it's improved. I may have to rewrite it some more, but I'm getting ready to call this rewrite almost done.

I've got to revise the prologue, then enter in all of the chicken scrawls I've made on all the other chapters (most of my revisions I do on paper; I can just see the changes better that way). I'm going to take a break for a couple of hours right now, then come back to that project tonight. With luck (and maybe some Motrin-- my back is killing me!) I should have a complete second draft before I go to sleep-- whenever hellish time of night that might be.

Daily Rewrite Update

Sat, 30 Aug 2008 05:34:11 GMT

849 new words on the rewrite today!

The good news: Chapter 26 is revised!

The bad news: Chapter 26 is no longer the last chapter in the book!

Looks like there's going to be a 28, too. However, I'm getting close! The goal is to build up to the epic pirates vs. street kids vs. guards vs. townspeople vs. loyalists melee that will be the New! Improved! climax of the novel. The rest is easy (and mostly already done-- ie: old chapter 26).

Additional daily writing coolness: the story took over again, and introduced the Best. Plot. Twist. EVAH! And it works perfectly with the groundwork I've already laid. In fact, it's hard to believe the Muse didn't intend for this to happen all along, as it makes so much sense.

I wish I could be as good a writer as my book!

Revision Update 2: Return of the Revision Update

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 22:04:12 GMT

Just wanted to give a little shout-out that, after typing in yesterday's hard work, I discovered that I wrote 2,896 words yesterday. That has to be a personal record, especially since all of it was handwritten.

Also? Reading my handwriting is a bitch.

Revision Update

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 18:08:01 GMT

So I'm halfway finished with classes today, and I've finished a rough rewrite of Chapter 25 and started the new material for Chapter 26. The writing was going really well-- until the damn story took an unexpected turn. Who gave this story permission to write itself, I ask you?

Thankfully, this is an interesting turn, and one that will create Tension! Action! and further Opportunities for tension and action! So I'm going to ride it out. Hopefully by the end of the day I'll be able to type in all my messy, handwritten scrawls and realize that I've got Something Good Going.

I'll keep you posted.

Progress

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 04:29:44 GMT

Thanks to the most excellent (and useful) long-distance butt-kicking of ecgriffith, I have now revised chapters 22, 23, 24, and half of 25 (the half that's written, that is-- the rest of 25 will be filled out with new writing, which will take a little longer). This project now seems decidedly less overwhelming, though the bulk of the actual rewrite still looms. Still, I'm getting there.

Tomorrow all of my students are writing sample essays (so I can see what they know and what they don't). What this means for me is MEGA amounts of uninterrupted writing time! Go me! Some days, I LOVE my job!

This also means no excuses. No kids fighting, no cats lying on my revisions, no phone calls, no escaping to the gym or cleaning around the house to do. No internet. Just me, my papers, and my pen.

Hopefully, I'll finish my "work" day with good news to report.

Back to Work!

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 05:12:49 GMT

Finished the syllabi and all of the required crits yesterday. I was fully planning on tackling the rewrite (the word "revision" no longer applies to the YA at this point) of the last five chapters of the YA today; instead, procrastinated. And moped about how much friggin' work it's going to take to rewrite the end, even though I have an excellent plan for how to do it.

Am totally conflicted as well. I can query my dream agent, whom I met at Denvention, and she claims the query will go straight to her (and that, if I am specific enough, she will remember me). I don't want to let too much more time slip by before I act on this. At the same time, I know from past experience that her request process is fast. (From query for Book One, to partial request, to rejection was a little more than two weeks). I don't want to query her until my rewrite is at least in the polishing phase (rather than the "down for rehab" phase). Thus, dilemma.

Your thoughts (other than the totally obvious "get off your lazy butt and finish the rewrite") are encouraged.

Meanwhile, school starts tomorrow, and I know I'm going to spend the whole night tossing and turning. If I sleep, I will be plagued by the "Hey, I'm teaching! But where are my pants?" and the "Hey, I'm teaching! But oops, I left all of my syllabi at home!" dreams. Just for once it would be nice to dream that I'm showing up to class, with all of my syllabi and books, and I am wearing my pants, but all of my students forgot theirs. Then at least I can laugh while I toss and turn.

I guess I should go ahead and try to sleep, especially since I'm quite obviously NOT working on my rewrite.

You Are All So Productive!

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 04:59:18 GMT

And I'm not getting much done. But somehow, I'm okay with that today.

Tomorrow I plan on beginning the grueling last five chapters of the YA revision, which entails a rather significant rewrite. By Tuesday I have to have three different syllabi finished and copied for the first day of school. I also am behind on crits for my Second Breakfasts, which I plan to work on tomorrow and Monday as well.

I feel like I should be stressing a little more about all this, but instead-- Meh. It'll all get done eventually.

Progress

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 04:18:34 GMT

Before I go (back to) sleep tonight, I will have revised through the end of Chapter 18. The worst is yet to come-- a total rewrite of the ending-- but I'm trying not to think about that just yet.

My new! improved! goal is to have this entire rewrite hammered out by the end of the week so I can start querying while I do the final dust and polish. Meeting the agent provided just the motivation I needed to get this done. That and the fact that the Fall semester starts next week, but I'm trying to to dwell on that either.

Wish me luck!

WorldCon Report

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 03:05:59 GMT

I had big plans for this week, but the whole constant sleeping thing has really thrown a wrench in my timeline. Hopefully the fuzz from Denvention (and, perhaps, the leftover fuzz from summer school) will wear off soon so I can get more done.

Meanwhile,

quixhobbit has done a most excellent WorldCon wrap-up here. Since we spent most of our weekend together, please refer to her lj for the general play-by-play of our weekend. My mileage varied only slightly (okay, I totally slept in on Saturday and missed all the 10:00 panels). I think it also goes without saying that it was soul-nurturing to hang out with my tribe this past week, and I already miss all of you terribly.

For the specific coolness of my time at WorldCon, I would only add that getting to be a part of the Hadley-Rille Books panel and reading my short story "The Librarian of Talimbourne" (at WorldCon!) was the height of awesome. ericreynolds, the editor of Ruins Metropolis, the anthology in which my story appears, is an incredibly gracious and interesting person, as is his beautiful daughter. Eric allowed me to participate in the panel AND sign books at WorldCon, which was not only cool, but very motivating. I now feel like I ought to write more short stories. It was neat to feel so authorial at my first WorldCon.

I met so many cool people at the Con! Highlights were meeting the VP Xers, jax_9898, and the XIIer who stopped in at our VP party, as well as seeing tnh and mac_stone again! Meeting camillealexa and alyciachristine at the reading was also a highlight, and I enjoyed seeing saycestsay and her writing group peeps again-- all wonderful people! I overcame my fear of feeling stupid and introduced myself to davidbcoeand john scalzi and said hello again to jpsorrowand pnhProbably one of the best memories I'll take away from the con is meeting kenscholesat the elevator post-VP party and enjoying a little mead-klatch upstairs, which was inspirational to say the least.

Probably the most terrifying (and exhilirating) thing I did was introduce myself to my dream agent. Yes, I was wearing my brand new Volde-Mart shirt, but I hope she won't hold it against me. In fact, the conversation went well and she encouraged me to remind her of our meeting when I query her later this month.

Oh, and I went to great panels. And met many more people whom I haven't mentioned, including KC, Cheryl and PJ!

Advice for future WorldCon attendees:

1. Drink Beowulf mead. It's GOOD!
2. Don't leave your damn walking shoes at home.
3. Bring an umbrella, even if the weather looks sunny.
4. Bring air freshener to the Tor party.
5. Reward yourself with jewelry and elvish dishes when you push out of your comfort zone.
6. Go out of your comfort zone! It's worth it.

And last, but not least, buy the ladies fitted tee. And wear it. You'll be glad you did.

Denvention!

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 15:35:04 GMT

I'm getting ready to leave Denver and I have had SUCH an amazing time here that my brain is full. So many cool things to talk about; WorldCon post forthcoming!

Denvention!!

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 05:28:53 GMT

Between falling down the (concrete, painful) stairs at work, dealing with the IRS (always a treat), finishing up the last week of summer school (and saying good-bye to 44 of the most awesome, responsible, hard-working and just generally cool students EVAH), reading all four books in the Twilight series and interviewing for a full-time teaching job, I have totally fallen out of the internet loop. I am, in fact, having a hard time finding the loop.

So, to all of my f-list friends, I suck. I'm not going to be able to catch up on the last however-many weeks of posts that I've missed. On the bright side, I'm looking forward to seeing many of you this week at Denvention! Woohoo! I'll be arriving tomorrow, and I'm totally jazzed.

But you might want to maintain a safe distance from my vortex of bad luck. I don't think it's contagious, but one can never be sure. Just sayin'.

Book Signing Report!

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 02:46:35 GMT

It's been a wild ride the last couple of days, culminating in today's 5.4 earthquake! It's a good thing I don't post daily; otherwise you would all think I write FICTION or something.

I don't have pictures uploaded yet, but I wanted to take a minute to post that Saturday was awesome; I took part in a book signing at Bookfellows in Glendale, California-- my first ever! It was very, very cool. I was extremely nervous, but both shaunaroberts (Shauna Roberts) and saycestsay (Kelly Green) were very kind and made me feel at ease right away. They are also both exceedingly talented writers whose stories I enjoyed very much. I kept wondering what I was doing there sitting behind that table with them!

Once I got over my fear of reading my writing out loud in front of people whom I did not actually know, I enjoyed the experience. However, I did find all sorts of places I wish I'd edited better, which goes to show that nothing is ever really finished, even after it's in print. All in all, it was a lovely day, and I enjoyed meeting these two ladies, the members of their writing group who came, and our fan Brandon who stayed to chat with us and bought a copy of Barren Worlds that we all signed. And of course it was nice to see my writing peeps too!

Happy Birthday!

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 04:30:54 GMT

Tomorrow is kjlj's birthday, so I'd like to be the first to say that I hope it's wonderful! You are an awesome person with a huge heart, and I'm so glad to know you! :)

Ssshhh...

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 03:07:45 GMT

I'm reading Twilight. How did I never learn of this book before now? I'm always last to get hip to all the trends.

Worked halfway through Chapter Twelve yesterday, which was hard work indeed given the massive rewrites. Then I came home and started reading, which ground my progress to a halt.

It's okay. My YA will be there tomorrow. But I've got a book to finish....